Santa Singh and Matches for Cigarette

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didn’t light.

He tried another, It didn’t light either. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?” asked the another man

Santa replied,
“That’s a lucky match stick. I’ll use it again.”

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The railway station

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.

He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

“When will Punjab Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 10.30.

“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks

Santas Dream

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?

Santa: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

Santa: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

Santa: It said "Pull"

Fussy Wife

Banta had been arrested and was now up before the judge.

The judge asks, "Do you admit you broke into the same clothes shop 3 times?"

"Yes," replies Banta.

"Could you please tell the court what you stole." asks the judge.

"I stole a dress, your honour," replies Banta.

"Just one dress? But you admitted to breaking in 3 times," says the judge.

"Yes I did, your honour," says Banta, "but on two of those occasions, I broke in to return the dress I took before."

"Return the dress? Why? I don't understand," says the judge.

"Because my wife Preeto didn't like the design, your honour."

Medical Prescription

Santa's father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.

Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.

Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa.

His father said, "Read that label. That's why!"

Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."

Remedy for hiccups

Santa went into a drug store and asked the pharmacist if he could give him something for hiccups.

Without warning, the pharmacist suddenly reached out and slapped Santa hard across the face.

"What did you do that for?" asked Santa indignantly.

"Well, you haven't got hiccups any more, have you?"

"I haven't got hiccups - my wife has!" replied Santa!

 

Born in which part

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India

 

Loving wife

Santa had been out for a few days due to ill health. At work Banta asked him how he was feeling?
"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience." he replied.
"Wonderful? How can the cold and fever be wonderful?" Banta asked Santa in stunned disbelief.
"Well, I learned that my wife, Jeeto, really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, she ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"