Group therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy with four young mothers.
"You all have obsessions.",The doctor observed.

To the 1st mother, he said,
"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named you're daughter 'Candy'."

He looks to the 2nd mother saying,
"Your obsession is with money.
Again, It manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He looks to the third mother 'n says,
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point,
The 4th mother Gets up,
Takes her little boy by the hand 'n says to him, "Come on, Dick, We're leaving!"

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Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

A boy called FM radio & said

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Is this justice

If A Girl Laughs Loudly She Is Cheerful
If A Boy Laughs Loudly He Is Manner less

If A Girl Talks Sweetly She Is Charming
If A Boy Talks Sweetly He Is A Flirt

If A Girl Is Shopping She Is Trendy
If A Boy Is Shopping He Is Wasting Money

If A Girl Is Silent She Is Feeling Sad
If A Boy Is Silent He Is Being Rude

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If Boys Walk In A Group Its A GANG.. !

An Egyptian girl asked an Indian boy

An EGYPTIAN girl asked an INDIAN boy:
What can u do for me?

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come behind the PYRAMID.
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The boy replied:
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From Harvard Oxford Texas

 
4 Students:1 Frm HARVARD
1 Frm OXFORD
1 TEXAS &Sardar G Frm PUNJAB UNVRSITY
1comon Ques:Wat Is d Fastst Thing In World?
HRVD: Light
OXF: Though
tTEXAS: Blink of Eye
SARDAR: Loose Motion Bcoz Last Nght
I Ws Lying On My Bed & B4 I Could "Blink",
"Think" or "Turn On d Light" It Ws Al Over.

Cookies for after the funeral

There was a very old man who was lying upstairs, dying.
Little jackie came in and said "Hi Grandpa"
"Hi little sweetie" he said. "tell me, are those Grandmas extra special cookies I smell?"
"Yes" Jackie replied.
"Do you think you can sneak downstairs and get a couple for me?"
"Sure" Jackie replied
In a few minutes, Little Jackie came back with a frown on his face.
Grandpa asked, "What's wrong?"
"Grandma would not let me have any; she says they are for after the funeral.
:) :) :)