Girl Was Yelling in the Church

Girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!
The priest inquired: Why must you pray so, my child?
Girl:That's what I have written in my answer sheet in the examination!

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Cookies for after the funeral

There was a very old man who was lying upstairs, dying.
Little jackie came in and said "Hi Grandpa"
"Hi little sweetie" he said. "tell me, are those Grandmas extra special cookies I smell?"
"Yes" Jackie replied.
"Do you think you can sneak downstairs and get a couple for me?"
"Sure" Jackie replied
In a few minutes, Little Jackie came back with a frown on his face.
Grandpa asked, "What's wrong?"
"Grandma would not let me have any; she says they are for after the funeral.
:) :) :)

 

Leaking

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Which one is yours

Never believe in 3 people:
Sagittarius, Aries, Pisces
They are the most selfish and mean. :/

Never lose 3 people:
Taurus, Cancer, Capricorn
They are the most sincere and true lovers..

Never share with 3 people:
Virgo, Libra, Scorpio
They can never keep secrets and cheat people by crocodile tears :/

Never reject 3 people:
Leo, Gemini, Aquarius
They are true,honest friends and never think bad for any one..?
which one is yours???? :D

 

A Wife Hit Her Husband

A Wife Hit Her Husband With Frying Pan:
Husband: What was that for?
Wife: I found a paper in your Pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I played a Race last week and Jenny was the name of my Horse.
Wife: Sorry!
Next day, Wife again hit him with the Frying Pan.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Your Horse is on the Phone.

Microsoft product

Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?
Bunty: MS Excel
Lucky: MS Word
Bittu: MS Powerpoint
Pappu after thinking a lot, “MS Dhoni”!

Soldier to General

Soldier to General: Sir! A small enemy group is attacking..

General: Quickly bring me my red shirt..

"After Enemies Defeat"

Soldier: Sir why the red shirt?

General: In red shirt if i got shot, my soldiers would'nt see my blood so they wont b discouraged..

Soldier: Sir 100 enemy tanks are attacking..

General: Hurry up! Bring me My Yellow Trousers...

Investment

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!