Difference between Complete n Finished

No English Dictionary Has Been Able To Explain
The Difference Between The Two Words COMPLETE And FINISHED,

In A Way That's Easy To Understand.
Some People Say
There Is No Difference Between COMPLETE & FINISHED.

I Beg To Differ Because,
There Is : When You Marry The Right Woman,
You Are "COMPLETE"...
And
When You Marry The Wrong One,
You Are "FINISHED"!
And
When The Right One Catches You With The Wrong One,
You Are ..."COMPLETELY FINISHED" !

 

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Train Ticket

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please! 
Saint: I don't have. 
TT: Where do you want to go? 
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya! 
TT: Come, lets go! 
Saint: Where? 
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.  

Soldier to General

Soldier to General: Sir! A small enemy group is attacking..

General: Quickly bring me my red shirt..

"After Enemies Defeat"

Soldier: Sir why the red shirt?

General: In red shirt if i got shot, my soldiers would'nt see my blood so they wont b discouraged..

Soldier: Sir 100 enemy tanks are attacking..

General: Hurry up! Bring me My Yellow Trousers...

Brilliant answers

Brilliant answers by the student who got 0%?

1)In which battle did Tippu sultan die?
A-In his last battle!

2)Where was the declaration of independence signed?
A-At the bottom of the page.

3)What's the main reason 4 divorce?
A-Marriage.

4)Ganga flows in which state?
A-Liquid state.

5)when was Mahatma Gandhi born?
A-On his birthday.

6) How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people?
A-By preparing mango shake.!!

From Harvard Oxford Texas

 
4 Students:1 Frm HARVARD
1 Frm OXFORD
1 TEXAS &Sardar G Frm PUNJAB UNVRSITY
1comon Ques:Wat Is d Fastst Thing In World?
HRVD: Light
OXF: Though
tTEXAS: Blink of Eye
SARDAR: Loose Motion Bcoz Last Nght
I Ws Lying On My Bed & B4 I Could "Blink",
"Think" or "Turn On d Light" It Ws Al Over.

Law of Telephone

LAW OF TELEPHONE:
When u dial a wrong number,u never get a busy tone.

LAW OF WORKSHOP:
Any tool when dropped, will roll to least accessible corner.

LAW OF TRAFFIC:
If u change lane, the one u were in will start moving faster.

LAW OF ENCOUNTER:
Probability of meeting someone u know increases when u r with someone u don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF LOGICAL ARGUMENT:
Anything is possible if u don't know what u r talking about...

Finance Minister

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly
& prayed for weeks but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter, requesting Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God,
they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of Pakistan as a joke.

The Finance Minister was so amused,
that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20, thinking this would appear to be alot of money to a little boy & he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.20
& decided to write a thank you note to God.

Which Read:

"Dear God, thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Minister in Islamabad & those bloody donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes!"

A Wife Hit Her Husband

A Wife Hit Her Husband With Frying Pan:
Husband: What was that for?
Wife: I found a paper in your Pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I played a Race last week and Jenny was the name of my Horse.
Wife: Sorry!
Next day, Wife again hit him with the Frying Pan.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Your Horse is on the Phone.