"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Your friendship means so much to me that... When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump out a window, I laugh some more.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up!
I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total slut...
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