Funny Quotes


Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.


There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.


Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.


It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Open Mind

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

Childs Menu

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Cell Phone

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.