Question Paper in year 2050:
1. Name the cities of Pakistan where Electricity is found.
2. How does Sugar taste? Explain in your Own words.
3. Draw a Neat and Labeled Diagram of a Suicide Jacket.
4. In Ancient Times, What was Petrol Used for? Support your answer with examples
There was this magician who had a job on a cruise liner, entertaining the passengers with a nightly show. He was very successful in his job and there was always a full house at all his performances. Life was sweet. The money was rolling in, he had one of the best cabins, ate the best food, mixed with the best people. All was fine until one day the captain bought a parrot.
The highlight of the parrot's day was going along to see the magician in action in the evening. During the magician's performances, the parrot would watch him very carefully during each trick, and immediately after the magician had completed the trick the parrot would call out in a loud squark, " It's up his sleeve, it's up his sleeve," or, " It's down his trousers, it's down his trousers," each time ruining the magician's trick.
Well life was no longer as sweet and the magician started to struggle to satisfy the passengers. The magician naturally got very tired of the parrot and longed to kill it.
Then one night in the middle of the magician's perform- ances, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone was killed except for the magician and the parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage, climbed aboard and collapsed. The parrot flew towards the magician and perched on the edge of the raft and stared at the magician.
For a whole day the magician was unconscious, and all this time the parrot did not take his eyes off him.
Eventually the magician started to stir, and looked up not really knowing where he was or what had happened. He eventually found enough energy to sit up. He then noticed the parrot, who had not stopped focusing his eyes on him all this time.
"All right I give up ..." chirped the parrot, "... What have you done with the ship"
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy with four young mothers.
"You all have obsessions.",The doctor observed.
To the 1st mother, he said,
"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named you're daughter 'Candy'."
He looks to the 2nd mother saying,
"Your obsession is with money.
Again, It manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He looks to the third mother 'n says,
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point,
The 4th mother Gets up,
Takes her little boy by the hand 'n says to him, "Come on, Dick, We're leaving!"
A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER "JESUS".
God made Man before Woman because you always make the rough draft before the final masterpiece.
A man walks into a bar with a dog on a lead. The dog is wearing an England shirt. The barman nods and asks what he wants. 'A pint, please,' the man replies. He sets the dog down and starts watching the game on TV. When the local team score a goal, the dog goes jerking and dancing round the bar and doing back flips.
'Wow,' the barman says, clearly impressed. 'What does he do when we win?'
'I don't know, I've only had him for five years,' the man replies.
Q: What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?
A: A tangent.
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.
While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land , for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance".
Terrorible English by School P.T sir:
1.There is no wind in the football.
2.I talk,he talk, Why you middle talk?
3.You rotate the ground four times.
4.You go 'n understnd the tree.
5. I'll give you clap.
6. Bring your parents with Your Mom 'n Dad
7.Why Haircut not cut?
Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.
He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
“When will Punjab Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 10.30.
“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.
Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?”
“Because we needed the eggs!”
One evening, Frank was drinking at a bar when the bartender came over to tell Frank that he had a telephone call.
Frank had just bought another beer and he didn't want anyone else to drink it. So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that read: "I spit in my beer."
When Fred returned to his bar stool, there was another note beside his beer: "I spit in your beer, too!"
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Bernuth, and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor!" he started. "No need to repeat yourself, my good man," replied the doctor. "One 'doctor' is enough." "Yes, well, you see, I've got this problem," the man continued. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenees mountain dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"
"A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Come over here and lie down on the couch." "Oh no, Doctor. I'm not allowed up on the furniture."
The ad in the local newspaper read: “Purebred Police Dog $25.”
Thinking that to be a great bargain, Mrs. Jones ordered the dog to be delivered.
The next day a van pulled up and left her the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen.
In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad. “What do you mean by calling that
mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?”
“Don’t be deceived by his looks, Ma’am,” he replied. “He works undercover.”
If A Girl Laughs Loudly She Is Cheerful
If A Boy Laughs Loudly He Is Manner less
If A Girl Talks Sweetly She Is Charming
If A Boy Talks Sweetly He Is A Flirt
If A Girl Is Shopping She Is Trendy
If A Boy Is Shopping He Is Wasting Money
If A Girl Is Silent She Is Feeling Sad
If A Boy Is Silent He Is Being Rude
If Girls Walk In A Group Its A Group
If Boys Walk In A Group Its A GANG.. !
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter -- is it Ms. Crunt?”
Brilliant answers by the student who got 0%?
1)In which battle did Tippu sultan die?
A-In his last battle!
2)Where was the declaration of independence signed?
A-At the bottom of the page.
3)What's the main reason 4 divorce?
A-Marriage.
4)Ganga flows in which state?
A-Liquid state.
5)when was Mahatma Gandhi born?
A-On his birthday.
6) How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people?
A-By preparing mango shake.!!
A guy dials home from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid." answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
"Sure, what do I have to do?"
"Get the shotgun out of the hall closet, go upstairs and shoot that unfaithful witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"
"What pool?"
"Uh...is this 555-4821?"