There is a California dude going through a desert. He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman.
He's having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching.
He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea?" They look at each other and say: "Two thousand miles!"
And he says: "Wow what a cool beach!!!"
Little Bobbie, while at a neighbor’s, was given a piece of bread and butter, and politely said “Thank you.”
“That’s right, Bobbie,” said the lady. “I like to hear little boys say ‘thank you’.”
“Well,” rejoined Bobbie. “If you want to hear me say it again you might put some jam on it.”
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother totell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
A girl was crying bitterly. Mom: What happened dear? Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch? Mom: No! Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad? Mom: No! Daughter: Is my nose flat? Mom: No baby! Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog? Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll! Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?
Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt.
Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."
The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch.
He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, “Are you a little girl or a little boy?”
“I don’t know,” replied the other baby giggling.”What do you mean, you don’t know?” said the first baby.
“I mean I don’t know how to tell the difference,” was the reply.
Well, I do,” said the first baby chuckling. “I’ll climb into your crib and find out.”
He carefully climbed himself into the other baby’s crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face.
“You’re a little girl, and I’m a little boy,” he said proudly.
“You’re ever so clever,” cooed the baby girl, “but how can you tell?”
“It’s quite easy really,” replied the baby boy, “You’ve got pink socks and I’ve got blue ones.”