Jokes

Jokes

Category: Funny Jokes

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

Category: Good Jokes

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Category: School Jokes

Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?
Johnny: Sun
Teacher: Why?
Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.

Category: Funny Sms

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Category: Funny Sms

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

Category: School Jokes

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!

Category: School Jokes

Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!

 

Category: Good Jokes

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
 
Suddenly, at the altar, amidst an explosion of fire, Satan appears! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.
 
Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sits calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.
 
Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"
 
The man says, "Yep, sure do."
 
Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"
 
The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"
 
"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years, how bad could you be?"