A person on his death bed (in Mumbai at Hospita) with Wife, Kids and Nurse beside him.
Man to Eldest son : You take the 15 Bungalows at Borivali.
To daughter : You take the 8 bungalows at Juhu.
To youngest son : You are my youngest and most dearest and I want your future to be bright, so you keep the 20 offices at Nariman Point.
To wife : Dear Kavita, you keep all 11 of our Lokhandwala building flats.
Nurse - quite impressed -
To wife : wow...You are lucky to have such a husband who is so rich and giving you all the properties etc.
Wife: What properties, what rich ... he's distributing out responsibilities of delivring Milk to his clients in the morning
Once Banta went to Bombay. While passing through a road he saw a very high building. He was amazed to see it, and decided to count its stories. As he was doing so a townsman saw him and tried to befool him.
So he approached Banta and asked, “What are you doing?”
When he told the answer, the townsman said that one had to pay two rupees for every storey counted.
“How many have you counted?”
Banta said ten and gave the man twenty rupees. Walking away Banta was very happy to think how he has befooled the other man for he had counted twenty.
Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed.
“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked.
“Yes, I do,” Banta replied.
“Very well, then,” the doctor said.
He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood.
The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?”
“Oh my goodness!” Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger … “Dead men do bleed!!”
Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.
He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
“When will Punjab Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 10.30.
“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.
Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks
A woman got on a bus but soon regretted it. The driver sped down the street, zigzagging across the lanes, breaking nearly every rule of the road. Unable to take it any longer, the woman stepped forward, her voice shaking as she spoke. “I am so afraid of riding with you, I don’t know what to do.” “Do what I do,” said the bus driver. “Close your eyes!”
A woman walked into the kitchen and found her husband walking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting mosquitoes,” He responded. “Oh, catching any?” She asked. “Yep, two males, two females,” He replied. Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell?” He responded, “Two were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”