Jokes

Jokes

Category: Good Jokes

There was a couple…the lady was very talkative and she kept talking with people on the phone hour after hour when she is alone at home.

End of everymonth they used to get a massive telephone bill and the husband was so worried on this.

One day they were dining at the table and the phone rang..

The lady’s reaction was immediate…she ran to the phone and started chatting..

After about 30-min she hang up and came back to the table.

The husband was happy that she hang up in 30 min which was a good sign where she normally doesn’t hung up at least for 2-hours. So he happily inquired…was she busy to hang up so early???

No..it was a wrong number.. replied the lady..

Category: Good Jokes

Officer: We need you in the army.
Joker: I’ll join but on three conditions.
Officer: Ok. what are the conditions?
Joker: My first condition is that I’ll not wear the uniform because it is hot.
Officer: Ok. What is the second condition?
Joker: I’ll not do the perade and other training under the sun because it is hot. I’ll only do it under the shed or some kind of shadow cover.
Officer: Ok. What is your third condition?
Joker: And my last and most important condition is that during war times, I’ll remain on leave.

Category: School Jokes

Teacher: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
Jimmy: “I don’t has a pencil.”
Teacher: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
Jimmy: “Who stole all the pencils then?”

 

Category: Good Jokes

Friend 1: “Did you know that I had taken up story-writing as a career?”
Friend 2: “No, sold anything yet?”
Friend 1: “Yes, my watch, my saxophone, and my overcoat.”

Category: Good Jokes

A family took a trip to Disney World. After three exhausting days, they headed home. As they drove away, the son waved and said, “Goodbye, Mickey.”

The daughter waved and said, “Goodbye, Minnie.”

The husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Goodbye, Money.”

 

Category: Funny Jokes

Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me sooner?”
“Because we needed the eggs!”

 

Category: Good Jokes

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.

She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”

Category: Funny Jokes

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.