Watch less T V

While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.

Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.

“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”

Add Comments
Read Related Jokes >

Awkward questions

Santa noticed that Banta was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Banta, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Santa.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Santa. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

"Yeah," said Banta, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"

The railway station

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.

He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

“When will Punjab Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 10.30.

“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks

Nice logic

Santa: What's the name of our PM?
Pappu: We don't have a PM in our country.

Santa: Shut up! Tell me the name of our PM?
Pappu: Okay dad, first you tell me the model no. of our typewriter?

Santa: We don't have a typewriter.
Pappu: We have one in the store-room.

Santa: Oh... that one. We do have but that's not of any use why should I remember it's model no?
Pappu: My point exactly.

 

Cinema tickets

A MAN appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets.

A few minutes later he returned and bought two more.

When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up.

'Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a little while ago?' she asked, puzzled. 'Yes,' replied Banta Singh plaintively,

'But there's some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!'

Nice cheeks

Santa's wife, Jeeto, got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terribly. The doctors couldn't use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery.
As a result, Santa offered the skin off his butt for the surgery. She had the surgery and was as beautiful after as she was before the surgery.
One night Jeeto and Santa were watching TV when she broke down crying.
"What's the matter?" Santa asked.
Jeeto said "I can't believe you did this for me."
Santa hugged her and replied, "Don't worry about it, I love you, and I'd do anything for you."
But how will I ever repay you?" she asked.
To which Santa replied, "You don't need to repay me... you wouldn't believe the satisfaction I get every time I see your mom kiss you on the cheek."

Santa Singh and Matches for Cigarette

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didn’t light.

He tried another, It didn’t light either. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?” asked the another man

Santa replied,
“That’s a lucky match stick. I’ll use it again.”

Betting Banta

Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed.
"What happened?" asked Santa.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "
"How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Australia was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "