Ultimate english !

Hello To Viewers My Name is Gundumani , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore . if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
-------------------------------
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
What Homework???
-------------------------------
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
-------------------------------
i am simple girl. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck. now i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot (I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
-------------------------------
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast (by not wearing his jeans? What the hell...) 
-------------------------------
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO

LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL

MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY

THEY ARE

1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})
-------------------------------
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he

would be called the man of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants) Infact she doesn't know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?
-------------------------------
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of 'ok'. The person is Suffering from 'Ok-syndrome')
-------------------------------
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & Mother. sister completely married (somebody please explain how to get married
completely'?) ( Confused ????? )
-------------------------------
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes Height of desperation!
-------------------------------
iam kanandevi. i do own businas.one sistar.he was marred.(No comments)
(Plz for gods sake ask somebody's help in framing sentence )
-------------------------------
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. I divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...(but credit cards not accepted..???) (Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit's??????? Is there anything like that.)
-------------------------------
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
Zebra..???)
(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)

Add Comments
Read Related Jokes >

Something positive

A couple are getting ready for bed after a long day’s work. “I look in the mirror, and I see an old lady,” the woman says to her husband. “My face is all wrinkled, and I’m sagging and bagging all over. And look at this flab on my arms.” Her husband is silent. “Hey!” she says, turning to him. “Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself.” “Well,” he says, “your eyesight is still great.”

A correct answer

A student asks his professor if it's true that tigers and other wild animals won't attack you in the jungle at night if you're carrying a burning torch. The proffessor answers, 'Well, young man, it all depends on how fast you're carrying it.'

The widow takes a look at her dear departed..

The widow takes a look at her dear departed one right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he's in his brown suit. She'd specifically said to the undertaker that she wanted him buried in his blue suit; she'd brought it especially for that occasion, and she was distressed that the mortician had left him in the same brown suit he'd been wearing when the lightning bolt hit him.

She demanded that the corpse be changed into the blue suit she'd brought especially for that purpose. The undertaker said, "But madam! It's only a minute or two until the funeral is scheduled to begin! We can't possibly take him out and get him changed in that amount of time.

The lady said, "Who's paying for this?" Seeing the logic to this argument, a very reluctant mortician wheeled the coffin out, but then wheeled it right back in a moment later. Miraculously, the corpse was in a blue suit.

After the ceremony, a well-satisfied widow complimented the undertaker on the smooth and speedy service. She especially wanted to know how he'd been able to get her husband into a blue suit so fast. The funeral director said, "Oh, it was easy. It happens that there was another body in the back room and he was already dressed in a blue suit. All we had to do was switch heads!

A cute dog

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

 

Elderly punjabi

An elderly Punjabi admitted to the intensive care department of a hospital requested that he has taken lessons in French. The doctor was puzzled and asked him why?

“Well, French is the language of heaven,” he sighed. “I want to be able to communicate with everyone in heaven if I die.”

“But how are you so sure that you will end up in heaven? You might go to hell. What good will French do you then?” asked the doctor.

“That will no problem. I am fluent in Punjabi.”

 

Firing the slacker

Harley Davidson, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $400 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $1,600 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that f*cking slacker did here?"
From across the room came a voice: "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

Two coats

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Category: Joke