Train Ticket

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please! 
Saint: I don't have. 
TT: Where do you want to go? 
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya! 
TT: Come, lets go! 
Saint: Where? 
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.  

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A Boy texts a girl

A Boy texts a girl
Boy: Hey!
Girl: Hi! What u doing?
Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world.
Girl: Aww How cute!
Boy: Ya! But She is not replying, so m texting U! :D

After Engagement

AFTER ENGAGEMENT:
HE: I waited so long for this.
SHE: Do U want me to leave?
HE: No. never!
SHE: Do U love me?
HE: Yes I did, I'm doing & I'll do.
SHE: Did you ever cheat me?
HE: I would rather die than do it.
SHE: Will you kiss me?
HE: Surely, it's my pleasure.
SHE: Will you hurt me?
HE: No way, I'm not such a kind of person.
SHE: Can I trust you?
HE: Yes.
SHE: Oh, Darling!
To know AFTER WEDDING:
>Read from bottom to top<

An Egyptian girl asked an Indian boy

An EGYPTIAN girl asked an INDIAN boy:
What can u do for me?

The boy replied:
come behind the PYRAMID.
I will make u MUMMY.An EGYPTIAN girl asked an INDIAN boy:
What can u do for me?

The boy replied:
come behind the PYRAMID.
I will make u MUMMY.

Group therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy with four young mothers.
"You all have obsessions.",The doctor observed.

To the 1st mother, he said,
"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named you're daughter 'Candy'."

He looks to the 2nd mother saying,
"Your obsession is with money.
Again, It manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He looks to the third mother 'n says,
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point,
The 4th mother Gets up,
Takes her little boy by the hand 'n says to him, "Come on, Dick, We're leaving!"

Soldier to General

Soldier to General: Sir! A small enemy group is attacking..

General: Quickly bring me my red shirt..

"After Enemies Defeat"

Soldier: Sir why the red shirt?

General: In red shirt if i got shot, my soldiers would'nt see my blood so they wont b discouraged..

Soldier: Sir 100 enemy tanks are attacking..

General: Hurry up! Bring me My Yellow Trousers...

Leaking

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Girls before and after finding her Love

Girl before finding her Love:
He should love me more & more everyday
He should never let me sad
He should always understand me
He should be perfect !!

After finding her boyfriend:
So what if he is not loving me unconditional, I understand & love him anyway
So what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me!
So what if he is not fully understanding me, I will understand him
So what if he is not perfect, I am not perfect too! :) :)