Remedy for hiccups

Santa went into a drug store and asked the pharmacist if he could give him something for hiccups.

Without warning, the pharmacist suddenly reached out and slapped Santa hard across the face.

"What did you do that for?" asked Santa indignantly.

"Well, you haven't got hiccups any more, have you?"

"I haven't got hiccups - my wife has!" replied Santa!

 

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The Genius MS Santa

Microsoft, as usual in short of good software professional, places an ad in all world famous news papers for a single position who would be in charge of their next operating system Windows2000. This becomes scary news as the ad says interview would be conducted by Mr. Bill Gates. Microsoft receives only three applications as the outcome, from an American, Japanese and an Indian (of course you guessed it right, no one other than Santa). They are all invited to Microsoft HQ in Seattle for the interview.
Bill gates says, "I will ask you only one question and your answer should decide your fate".
All of them prepared to face Mr. Gates eagerly wait for the question.
Bill asks, "How do we achieve Windows2000 from Windows98?"
American & Japanese are puzzled and think over it and our guy Santa smiling and dancing in his chair says "balle balle" in mind.
After a while American answers, "Fix bugs in Windows98 for smooth transitions"
Bill shouts, "Get out of here...". The poor guy runs out.
The Japanese says, "Make Windows2000 more user friendly than Windows98".
Bill Gates screams, "get the hell out of here....".
Gates looks at Santa.
Santa giggles and says: "Rename Windows98, Windows2000".
Gates says "Balle, Balle, You got the job."

Loving wife

Santa had been out for a few days due to ill health. At work Banta asked him how he was feeling?
"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience." he replied.
"Wonderful? How can the cold and fever be wonderful?" Banta asked Santa in stunned disbelief.
"Well, I learned that my wife, Jeeto, really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, she ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying 'My husband is home! My husband is home!'"

 

Dead men dont bleed

Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work.

Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed.

“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, I do,” Banta replied.

“Very well, then,” the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?”

“Oh my goodness!” Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger … “Dead men do bleed!!”

Bathing santa

Banta came to meet Santa at his house.

He knocked at the door; and was surprised to see Santa dripping with water open the door while being stark naked.

"Come on Santa, aren't you ashamed? Why don't you wear something?", said Banta.

Santa sheepishly ran into the bathroom and came back wearing his slippers.

 

Awkward questions

Santa noticed that Banta was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Banta, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Santa.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Santa. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

"Yeah," said Banta, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"

Classic insult

Santa & a girl standing on the bus stop:

Santa to ladki: Nice lipstick.

Girl: Thanks.

Santa: Nice top and jeans

Girl: Thanks.

Santa: Nice ear-rings

Girl: Thanks.

Santa: Nice neckless.

Girl: Thank you so much BHAIYA.

Santa: Very strange, phir bhi tum sundar nahi lag rahi ho.

Sardar and Hidden Camera

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”