Police Enquiry

Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house

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No Cavities

One fine afternoon, a smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit. He called out, “Hey mom, I have no cavities today.”

His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised. But she smiled and then frowned knowing the expected. “Let me guess,” she said, “You have not a tooth left.”

 

ABC

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began.

"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."

"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?

"It's running down my leg."

Two Thousand Miles

There is a California dude going through a desert. He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman.

He's having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching.

He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea?" They look at each other and say: "Two thousand miles!"

And he says: "Wow what a cool beach!!!"

God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

“Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line,at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note:

“Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

English lesson

During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.

Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.

Little Johny

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

Strange socks

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you’re wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots !!
PAPPU: Yes, it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.