Outside a clinic

Two Sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the

other asked,”Why are you crying?”

The first one replied, “I came here for blood test.”

Second one asked, “So, are you afraid?”

First one replied, “No, not that during the blood test they cut my finger.”

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other,

“Why are you crying?”

The other replied, “I have come for my urine test.”

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The railway station

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.

He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

“When will Punjab Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 10.30.

“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks

Fussy Wife

Banta had been arrested and was now up before the judge.

The judge asks, "Do you admit you broke into the same clothes shop 3 times?"

"Yes," replies Banta.

"Could you please tell the court what you stole." asks the judge.

"I stole a dress, your honour," replies Banta.

"Just one dress? But you admitted to breaking in 3 times," says the judge.

"Yes I did, your honour," says Banta, "but on two of those occasions, I broke in to return the dress I took before."

"Return the dress? Why? I don't understand," says the judge.

"Because my wife Preeto didn't like the design, your honour."

Speech Impediment

Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said Santa, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied Banta.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired Santa, "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied Banta, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"

Remedy for hiccups

Santa went into a drug store and asked the pharmacist if he could give him something for hiccups.

Without warning, the pharmacist suddenly reached out and slapped Santa hard across the face.

"What did you do that for?" asked Santa indignantly.

"Well, you haven't got hiccups any more, have you?"

"I haven't got hiccups - my wife has!" replied Santa!

 

Banta committing

Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."

Keyboard Alphabets

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the

computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it

alright.

 

Awkward questions

Santa noticed that Banta was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Banta, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Santa.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Santa. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

"Yeah," said Banta, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"