Not at home

A visitor to Santa, "Which is Mr Banta's flat?"

Santa: Please come with me.

The visitor is taken on stairs to the 3rd floor.

The visitor rings the bell and there is no response. He rings it again and again and still no one answers. Visitor: I think he is not in. Santa: Yeah, he has gone out. He'll be back in the evening!

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Mouse trap

Santa: I'm in a big trouble!

Banta: Why is that?

Santa: I saw a mouse in my house!

Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.

Santa: I don't have one.

Banta: Well then, buy one.

Santa: Can't afford one.

Banta: I can give you mine if you want.

Santa: That sounds good.

Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.

Santa: I don't have any cheese.

Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.

Santa: I don't have oil.

Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.

Santa I don't have bread.

Banta: Then what the hell is that mouse doing at your house???

What a relief

Banta tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off.

The weeks later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery.

"Oh good," Banta responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "if you promise to be careful."

"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," he sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time!"

Santa Singh and Matches for Cigarette

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didn’t light.

He tried another, It didn’t light either. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?” asked the another man

Santa replied,
“That’s a lucky match stick. I’ll use it again.”

Banta committing

Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."

Santas Dream

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?

Santa: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

Santa: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

Santa: It said "Pull"

Bon Appetit

Santa was spending some of his hard-earned cash on a luxury cruise and was given a table

with a Frenchman.

At their first meal together, the Frenchman said, "Bon appetit!"

Before the next meal commenced the performance was repeated.

"Bon appetit," said the Frenchman.

"Santa Ji," replied Santa.

After this had happened at every meal for three days, Santa was getting fed up, and told a fellow traveller about it.

"He tells me his name is Bon Appetit and I tell him my name is Santa, and then at the next meal, we start all over again."

The fellow traveller laughed and explained to Santa that the Frenchman was not introducing himself and that 'Bon appetit' meant "Good appetite", or "I hope that you enjoy your meal!"

Santa breathed a sigh of relief on receiving this information. Next morning, at breakfast,

Santa greeted the Frenchman, "Bon appetite."

The Frenchman nodded politely and said, "Santa Ji."

The railway station

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.

He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

“When will Punjab Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 10.30.

“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks