News

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Add Comments
Read Related Jokes >

Marriage

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Penis and a brain

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

Three stages

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Internet virus

Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...

Opposite of profound truth

"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth."

Men

Men are like puppies, adorable, then you take them home and they crap over everything you ever treasured.

Category: Funny Quotes