Money

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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Delusion

"When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."

Men

Men are like puppies, adorable, then you take them home and they crap over everything you ever treasured.

Comparsion of elder and younger

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."

Liars

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Facebook addict

I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!

Open Mind

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

Penis and a brain

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

Category: Funny Quotes