Mistake

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

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Beer

Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up!

Three stages

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Men

Men are like puppies, adorable, then you take them home and they crap over everything you ever treasured.

Facebook addict

I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!

Slut

I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total slut...

 

Multiple personalities

Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

Internet virus

Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...

Category: Funny Quotes