Maths

"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”
“Huge hands, sir.”

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Paper or plastic

What did the blonde say after college?

"Will that be paper or plastic?"

Alphabet

Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Paul: I is the...

Teacher: No, Paul . You must say "I am" not "I is."
John: All right.  I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Formula for Water

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO” !!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !

Written test

Rob and Tom apply for the same job. They take a written test. “You both got the same number of questions wrong,” the HR person tells them, “but Rob gets the job.”

“If we both got the same number of questions wrong, how come he gets the job?” Tom asks indignantly.

“Well,” says the HR person, “one of his incorrect answers was better than yours.”

“Whoa, how can that be?”

“For problem No. 46, Rob wrote, ‘I don’t know.’ You wrote, ‘Me neither.’”

Dream at night

Teacher: Last night I had a dream that I ate a huge marshmallow.

Student: And what happened next?

Teacher: I woke up in the morning and found my pillow gone!!!

Hate me

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

Post box

Teacher to students: can anyone tell a word which has more than 1000 letters in it?
Sam suddenly stands up and said “postbox”!

 

Category: School Jokes