Longitude and Latitude

A teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose

I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15

minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

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Post box

Teacher to students: can anyone tell a word which has more than 1000 letters in it?
Sam suddenly stands up and said “postbox”!

 

Little problems

Our school had just installed a new air-conditioning system, and a representative from the company wanted to make sure it was running smoothly. Poking his head into an empty classroom, he asked the teacher, "Any little problems here?" "No," she said, smiling. "All our little problems have gone home."

Geometry humor

Q: What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?

A: A tangent.

Law school for nuns

What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam?

A sister-in-law.

Lesson learned

On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters. She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.

Tuesday, she was again greeted with "penis" on the blackboard, written in larger letters. She looked around in vain for the culprit, and then proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning for the rest of the week, "penis" was written on the board in larger and larger letters, and each time, the teacher furiously erased it. By Friday, she'd had enough.

"That's enough," she sputtered. "I -- I can't believe this! Monday morning, I expect an explanation for this behavior!"

On Monday morning, the teacher confidently entered the classroom and found on the board: "Don't you know -- the more you rub it, the bigger it gets?"

Maths

"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”
“Huge hands, sir.”

Hate me

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

Category: School Jokes