Its Empty

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt.

Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch.

He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

 

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Be quite at church

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”

 

Innocent Daughter

A girl was crying bitterly. Mom: What happened dear? Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch? Mom: No! Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad? Mom: No! Daughter: Is my nose flat? Mom: No baby! Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog? Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll! Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?

A lesson in government

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad making love with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!''

Little Johny

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

Its Time

Even though he could not tell time, my three-year-old grandson was playing with a wall clock when I visited.

Later, when I was putting on my coat to leave, I asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, then brightened.

“It’s time for you to go,” he answered triumphantly.

English lesson

During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.

Teacher:Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.

Strange socks

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you’re wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots !!
PAPPU: Yes, it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.

 

Category: Jokes for Kids