Irresistible Irony

About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again. Unsure how to begin, I thought I’d scan the personals column of my local newspaper. I came across three men who seemed like they’d be promising candidates. A couple of days later, I was checking my messages and discovered one from my ex-husband. “I was over visiting the kids yesterday,” he said. “While I was there I happened to notice you had circled some ads in the paper. Don’t bother calling the guy in the second column. I can tell you right now it won’t work out. That guy is me.”

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Math

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

A Hot Slice Of Honest Love

(Girl standing in the bathroom washing her face. She’ve been under a lot of stress, so she have been breaking out a lot more than she used to. Her boyfriend comes in and points.)

Boyfriend: “Eeeeeww! What’s on your face?!”

Girl: “You’re such a jerk! You know I hate when you do that!”

Boyfriend: *hugs me* “I love you no matter what, my beautiful pizza face!”

Hearing problem

An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.

The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and
meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband
could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions
of the problem.

"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from
her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and
see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet,
and so on until you get a response."

So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner,
and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So he moves to the other end of the room, about
30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away.
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey,
what's for supper?". No response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for
supper?"

"For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!"

Just a smile

Way to impress girl: Respect her, honor her, love her, protect her, care 4 her, obey her, sacrifice 4 her.
How to impress a boy? Just smile once ..

Comparsion of love

love is like a forest where brave tigers are killed by the beautiful eyes of deers...

Relationship status

Girl : I Love you
Boy : (Starts Running)...............!

Girl : (Running after him) ...Why are u Running?
Boy : To update my Relationship status on Facebook

Category: Love jokes