An Icy Start To The Relationship

(A guy at work asks girl out on a date, and since she like him a lot, She say yes. They agree to meet in this new restaurant after her shift’s done. Unfortunately it has snowed, and everything is covered in ice and snow. Girl get lost, and after driving around aimlessly, she decide to give up and go home. Girl realize she forgot to exchange numbers, so she can’t call to apologize. The next day…)

Guy: “Hey, where were you?!”

Girl: “I’m so sorry about that! I got lost because of the snow!”

Guy: “Well, why didn’t you call me to say that?”

Girl: “I don’t have your number.”

Guy: “Well you could’ve asked for it!”

Girl: “I’m sorry; I forgot.”

Guy: “Yeah. Sure you did! Just admit that you don’t think I’m hot!”

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The happy hangover

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"

 

Something positive

A couple are getting ready for bed after a long day’s work. “I look in the mirror, and I see an old lady,” the woman says to her husband. “My face is all wrinkled, and I’m sagging and bagging all over. And look at this flab on my arms.” Her husband is silent. “Hey!” she says, turning to him. “Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself.” “Well,” he says, “your eyesight is still great.”

Math

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

Love and Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant. Marriage is a take home pack.

Love is watching movie on a sofa. Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early. Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is losing your appetite. Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!"

Conclusion: Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener.. :)
 

Personal service

My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, "I love my new garage-door opener." "I love mine too," my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.

Just a smile

Way to impress girl: Respect her, honor her, love her, protect her, care 4 her, obey her, sacrifice 4 her.
How to impress a boy? Just smile once ..

Pillow

You can hug it when you're in trouble
You can cry on it when you're in pain
You can embrace it when you're happy
So when you need true love
Buy a pillow

 

Category: Love jokes