Homework

“Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding

out her hand.
“My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
“Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear it is,” insisted Johnny. “I had to smear it with honey,

but I finally got him to eat it.”

 

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Church Joke

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Punishment

A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
Teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

Little problems

Our school had just installed a new air-conditioning system, and a representative from the company wanted to make sure it was running smoothly. Poking his head into an empty classroom, he asked the teacher, "Any little problems here?" "No," she said, smiling. "All our little problems have gone home."

Correct Sentence

Teacher: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
Jimmy: “I don’t has a pencil.”
Teacher: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
Jimmy: “Who stole all the pencils then?”

 

Bull and cow

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the

    

field"

    

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

    

Teacher : How?

    

Student : Ladies first.

Longitude and Latitude

A teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose

I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15

minutes east longitude…?”

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

Category: School Jokes