Girl Was Yelling in the Church

Girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!
The priest inquired: Why must you pray so, my child?
Girl:That's what I have written in my answer sheet in the examination!

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Soldier to General

Soldier to General: Sir! A small enemy group is attacking..

General: Quickly bring me my red shirt..

"After Enemies Defeat"

Soldier: Sir why the red shirt?

General: In red shirt if i got shot, my soldiers would'nt see my blood so they wont b discouraged..

Soldier: Sir 100 enemy tanks are attacking..

General: Hurry up! Bring me My Yellow Trousers...

Microsoft product

Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?
Bunty: MS Excel
Lucky: MS Word
Bittu: MS Powerpoint
Pappu after thinking a lot, “MS Dhoni”!

Train Ticket

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please! 
Saint: I don't have. 
TT: Where do you want to go? 
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya! 
TT: Come, lets go! 
Saint: Where? 
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.  

A Boy texts a girl

A Boy texts a girl
Boy: Hey!
Girl: Hi! What u doing?
Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world.
Girl: Aww How cute!
Boy: Ya! But She is not replying, so m texting U! :D

A boy called FM radio & said

A boy called FM radio & said: I’ve found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Ram new road, Kathmandu. Radio Jockey: How honest so you want to return his purse? Boy: no.. I just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him.

Group therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy with four young mothers.
"You all have obsessions.",The doctor observed.

To the 1st mother, he said,
"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named you're daughter 'Candy'."

He looks to the 2nd mother saying,
"Your obsession is with money.
Again, It manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He looks to the third mother 'n says,
"Your obsession is alcohol.
This manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point,
The 4th mother Gets up,
Takes her little boy by the hand 'n says to him, "Come on, Dick, We're leaving!"