An elementary school teacher sends this note to
All parents on the first day of school.
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school,
I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.
“Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding
out her hand.
“My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
“Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear it is,” insisted Johnny. “I had to smear it with honey,
but I finally got him to eat it.”
Little johnny geometry
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!
Sun is closer
Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?
Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.
Big people words
A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.
"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."
Late to class
One girl comes late to class.
Professor : Why r u late?
Girl : One boy was following me sir boy following girl
Professor : So,what?
Girl : That boy was walking very slowly.