Dead men dont bleed

Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work.

Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed.

“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, I do,” Banta replied.

“Very well, then,” the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?”

“Oh my goodness!” Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger … “Dead men do bleed!!”

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Sardar and Hidden Camera

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”

What a relief

Banta tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off.

The weeks later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery.

"Oh good," Banta responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "if you promise to be careful."

"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," he sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time!"

Time

Santa and Banta were studying late night. Their watch was not working.
Santa: What is the time? Banta picks up a stone and throws it to the gate of neighbour's house. A lady from neighbour's house shouted: You fools, it is 3 'o clock. Why don't you sleep?

Watch less T.V

While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.

Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.

“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”

My Friend Circle

Santa came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Jeeto, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Banta", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Ramta then?" he asked.

"No !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" Jeeto snapped.

Next Door Neighbors Phone Number

Santa Singh wanted to speak with his buddy Banta Singh and called him.

“Hello, is this Banta Singh?”
“No, who is this? Not sure who are you looking for.” came the reply.

Santa followed by saying – “Is this 212-100-1001?”
The guy replied, “Sorry, it’s not. You got 212-100-1002.”

Santa says – “Oh, I see. Can you please call Banta Singh from your next door?”

Santa complains

Santa heard his son reciting his homework:
"Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...`" "Shut up !" shouted furoius Santa. "Watch your language! You`re not allowed to use the swearwords".
"But, Dad," replied the boy, "that`s what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Santa went right into the classroom to complain.
"Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That`s not what I taught them. They`re supposed to say, `Two plus two, the sum of which is four.` "