Childs Menu

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

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Money

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Richest people

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

Facebook addict

I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!

Rough draft

God made Man before Woman because you always make the rough draft before the final masterpiece.

Involvement vs commitment

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

Cell Phone

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. 

Internet virus

Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...

Category: Funny Quotes