Children

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

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Rough draft

God made Man before Woman because you always make the rough draft before the final masterpiece.

Men

Men are like puppies, adorable, then you take them home and they crap over everything you ever treasured.

50 50 proposition

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.

Delusion

"When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."

Cell Phone

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. 

Liars

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Three stages

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."