Betting Banta

Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed.
"What happened?" asked Santa.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "
"How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Australia was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

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My Friend Circle

Santa came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Jeeto, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Banta", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Ramta then?" he asked.

"No !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" Jeeto snapped.

Banta committing

Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."

New chauffeur

Santa hired a new chauffeur.

Jeeto asked the chauffer to take her out for shopping and was very shaken by the experience.

Back home, she pleaded with Santa, "Please dear, you must sack this new chauffeur at once. He is so rash he nearly killed me three times this morning."

"Darling, don't be so hasty," replied Santa, "give him another chance."

English courtesy

Banta was once visiting London. After a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of London, he found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, and eventually couldn’t control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him,
Hey, What do you think you re doing here?
Banta: sorry I have to "Pee"
Officer: No PP here okay? Follow me...
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around....
Officer: Pee here.. have a nice day.
Banta: Oh sir ... that is very nice of you, is this English courtesy ?
Officer: No... This is Indian Embassy !!

Mouse trap

Santa: I'm in a big trouble!

Banta: Why is that?

Santa: I saw a mouse in my house!

Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.

Santa: I don't have one.

Banta: Well then, buy one.

Santa: Can't afford one.

Banta: I can give you mine if you want.

Santa: That sounds good.

Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.

Santa: I don't have any cheese.

Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.

Santa: I don't have oil.

Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.

Santa I don't have bread.

Banta: Then what the hell is that mouse doing at your house???

The Genius MS Santa

Microsoft, as usual in short of good software professional, places an ad in all world famous news papers for a single position who would be in charge of their next operating system Windows2000. This becomes scary news as the ad says interview would be conducted by Mr. Bill Gates. Microsoft receives only three applications as the outcome, from an American, Japanese and an Indian (of course you guessed it right, no one other than Santa). They are all invited to Microsoft HQ in Seattle for the interview.
Bill gates says, "I will ask you only one question and your answer should decide your fate".
All of them prepared to face Mr. Gates eagerly wait for the question.
Bill asks, "How do we achieve Windows2000 from Windows98?"
American & Japanese are puzzled and think over it and our guy Santa smiling and dancing in his chair says "balle balle" in mind.
After a while American answers, "Fix bugs in Windows98 for smooth transitions"
Bill shouts, "Get out of here...". The poor guy runs out.
The Japanese says, "Make Windows2000 more user friendly than Windows98".
Bill Gates screams, "get the hell out of here....".
Gates looks at Santa.
Santa giggles and says: "Rename Windows98, Windows2000".
Gates says "Balle, Balle, You got the job."

Cinema tickets

A MAN appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets.

A few minutes later he returned and bought two more.

When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up.

'Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a little while ago?' she asked, puzzled. 'Yes,' replied Banta Singh plaintively,

'But there's some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!'