Awkward questions

Santa noticed that Banta was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Banta, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Santa.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Santa. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

"Yeah," said Banta, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"

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The Genius MS Santa

Microsoft, as usual in short of good software professional, places an ad in all world famous news papers for a single position who would be in charge of their next operating system Windows2000. This becomes scary news as the ad says interview would be conducted by Mr. Bill Gates. Microsoft receives only three applications as the outcome, from an American, Japanese and an Indian (of course you guessed it right, no one other than Santa). They are all invited to Microsoft HQ in Seattle for the interview.
Bill gates says, "I will ask you only one question and your answer should decide your fate".
All of them prepared to face Mr. Gates eagerly wait for the question.
Bill asks, "How do we achieve Windows2000 from Windows98?"
American & Japanese are puzzled and think over it and our guy Santa smiling and dancing in his chair says "balle balle" in mind.
After a while American answers, "Fix bugs in Windows98 for smooth transitions"
Bill shouts, "Get out of here...". The poor guy runs out.
The Japanese says, "Make Windows2000 more user friendly than Windows98".
Bill Gates screams, "get the hell out of here....".
Gates looks at Santa.
Santa giggles and says: "Rename Windows98, Windows2000".
Gates says "Balle, Balle, You got the job."

Medical Prescription

Santa's father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.

Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.

Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa.

His father said, "Read that label. That's why!"

Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."

Born in which part

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India

 

Speech Impediment

Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said Santa, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied Banta.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired Santa, "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied Banta, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"

Betting Banta

Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed.
"What happened?" asked Santa.
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "
"How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Australia was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?"
"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

What a relief

Banta tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off.

The weeks later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery.

"Oh good," Banta responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "if you promise to be careful."

"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," he sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time!"

Blood bank

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.

Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.