Funny Poems

The Day I Remember

I opened my eyes
I looked to the sky
the birds were singing and whistling by
my heart got thirst to fly

I stretched my hands
and put on my band
I got out of the bed
and forced myself to go ahead

I walked out of my room
and saw a hand with a broom
when I looked up
I asked my mother WHAT'S UP!

my mother was in anger
in the other hand she took a hanger
my mother was like in battle
and played with me like a shuttle

It was the month of NOVEMBER
which I always REMEMBER.:)

Out of control

“The president will come to town…”
“The price of beans is coming down…”

“I’ll love you till the end of time…”
“But shooting ducks should be a crime…”

“We’ve never had a better sale…”
“We’ll have to break them out of jail…”

“The Pope arrived to lead the prayers…”
“The Dallas Cowboys beat the Bears…”

“The temperature is three below…”
“These vitamins will help you grow…”

What’s going on? Well, bless my soul!
Baby’s got the remote control.

 

Tinkle,Tinkle Little Car

Tinkle, Tinkle little car
How I wonder what you are.

Leaking oil every day
Having it your own way.

Going up hills real slow
I don't want you any mo'.

Tinkle, Tinkle little car
Boy, what a lemon you are.

My puppy likes the water

My puppy likes the water.
My puppy likes to swim.
I've never seen a puppy
who swims as much as him.

He swims not on the surface,
but only underneath.
And maybe I should warn you,
he has very scary teeth.

Whenever people see him
they're frightened of his grin.
Or maybe it's his lack of fur.
Or maybe it's his fin.

If you should buy a puppy,
just get the kind that barks.
Don't be like me. I bought mine
at a store that just sells sharks.

My Puppy punched me in the eye

My puppy punched me in the eye.
My rabbit whacked my ear.
My ferret gave a frightful cry
and roundhouse kicked my rear.

My lizard flipped me upside down.
My kitten kicked my head.
My hamster slammed me to the ground
and left me nearly dead.

So my advice? Avoid regrets;
no matter what you do,
don't ever let your family pets
take lessons in kung fu.

I taught my cat to clean my room

I taught my cat to clean my room,
to use a bucket, brush and broom,
to dust my clock and picture frames,
and pick up all my toys and games.

He puts my pants and shirts away,
and makes my bed, and I would say
it seems to me it's only fair
he puts away my underwear.

In fact, I think he's got it made.
I'm not as happy with our trade.
He may pick up my shoes and socks,
but I clean out his litterbox.

 

Swimming Ool

Swimming in the swimming pool
is where I like to "B,"
wearing underwater goggles
so that I can "C."
Yesterday, before I swam,
I drank a cup of "T."
Now the pool is just an "ool"
because I took a "P."

 

April fools day

Mackenzie put a whoopie cushion
on the teacher's chair.
Makayla told the teacher
that a bug was in her hair.

Alyssa brought an apple
with a purple gummy worm
and gave it to the teacher
just to see if she would squirm.

Elijah left a piece of plastic
dog doo on the floor,
and Vincent put some plastic vomit
in the teacher's drawer.

Amanda put a goldfish
in the teacher's drinking glass.
These April Fool's Day pranks
are ones that you could use in class.

Before you go and try them, though,
there's something I should mention:
The teacher wasn't fooling
when she put us in detention.

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